PLANET3RRY

Nobody Can Resist the MANGO

I saw this while running sometime back and well, I couldn’t resist taking a picture!

Mondays are our Date Nights. We have our Au Pair put the kids down so that we can recharge as a couple from the weekend. Typical date night includes going to dinner and usually followed with some shopping or something like that. About once every 3 months, we’ll go to a movie at the $2 theatre when the fancy strikes us.

So yesterday My Lovely and Talented Wife were IMing each other and I said that I wanted to eat Mexican for dinner. We have a good Mexican place and well, Mexican is my Fave Food. When I got home, she told me that they didn’t go to Party City like planned and would going to the Irish Pub be a good place since Party City is 3 Doors Down.

[Insert Video of me doing an Irish Jig in acceptance of the proposition]

Now, there’s a few things that you think of when you go to an Irish Pub: Fights & Beer. I was thinking of the latter, as in… what was I going to get? Well, I first thought of a Black & Tan (1/2 Guinness and 1/2 Bass). Then I thought that I would get another Irish Imported Beer to try.

Walking toward the pub, I had my decision made for me, by a Jedi Mind Trick:

But then it I read the sign closer. And then I realized that someone failed to use the resources right there… I mean, can it get anymore helpful? I was so captivated by this sign and its message that I went BACK outside after we were seated to take this picture.

But that sealed the deal. I had to get a Guinness.

Found on the Downtown Street of Loris, South Carolina.

I discovered something very disturbing this past Christmas and I was tempted to write about it, but I didn’t. Then I saw another occurrence and I began writing and rant post in my head but it never made it to the computer. Then, on Wednesday, three times a charm, I saw something that just pushed me over the edge and I had to comment on this travesty that is happening before my eyes.

The Sanctity of Holiday Chocolate Candies is deteriorating! And it’s spreading!

Regular readers know that I love chocolate. Just a few years back, I was keeping a running total of the number of Easter Candies I was consuming, just because it was THAT special. Cadbury is by far my favorite chocolate. When the Mini-Egg was introduced, I was in heaven. It took me a little longer to actually try a Cadbury Creme Egg because I thought it was a “real” egg inside.

Every Easter season, I would wait patiently until after Valentine’s Day and head to the candy department and get a load of Mini-Eggs, Creme Eggs, and marshmallow eggs. It was a sad day when Easter was over I knew that stores would no longer carry these tastes of heaven. I would on occasion, hide a bag that I would find a few months later and try to eat it as slowly as I could. However, I love Mini-Eggs so much that a whole bag doesn’t last very long and with no will power, would be gone in a day. Yeah, I know.

Last year, I saw something that immediately disgusted m, yet I was somewhat intrigued by the newness of it all. Cadbury was marketing Christmas Holiday Balls in the crispy candy shell so reminiscent of Mini-Eggs. How could they blasphem Mini-Eggs and make this Christmas knock-off. Why were they trying to diminish the greatness that is the Cadbury Mini-Egg. But yet, how could I resist? They weren’t “shaped” like eggs, nor were they “pastel” colors but the bold red and green of the Christmas Season. So, in my moment of weakness, I bought a bag. I was high like a kid in Chuck E Cheese slamming back a Mountain Dew.

It was wrong, but it tasted so right. I tried to Google a picture so that I could included it here, but then I discover THIS. Now this total rip-off of the Mini-Egg is totally uncalled for… I mean, what part of Christmas is “egg” based. The easter bunny hides eggs… Santa doesn’t hide “eggs”. Well, unless that’s what he does in the stockings. At least they are not being marketed in the US, that I know of.

But what really got me going on this whole Fleecing of Candy in America. Is the marketeer’s trying to create every weird flavor they can. A few weeks back I picked up a Reese Peanut Butter Cup because the display I saw they were on sale. Deal for Terry. When I took a bite, they tasted “different” (no wonder they were on sale). But wait, upon further taste… it had a hint of Banana? Strange I thought. This experience render an email to the company about their Quality Control and how I had “bad apple”. I picked up the package and it was supposed to be peanut butter and banana. In fact, it was an Elvis commissioned special collector edition Reese Peanut Butter and Banana Cup… Thank you, Thank you very much.

Cadbury’s attempt to mimic seasonal candy is nothing new, Reese’s has been doing for years. When I first discovered Reese’s Easter Eggs, it was like a Peanut Butter party in my mouth. Less chocolate and more peanut buttery goodness had a much better blend then the normal, almost wimpy, peanut butter cups. Then you could find Peanut Butter Christmas Trees in December, Then you could find Pumpkins in October and you can find hearts in February.

So what is next? Reese Peanut Butter Flags for Flag Day (June)? Reese Peanut Butter Firework for Fourth of July(July)? Reese Peanut Butter Walker for Grandparents Day (September)? Reese Peanut Butter Boat for Columbus Day (October)? And since Christmas candy now comes out before Halloween, I think the rest of the year is covered. Except for August… nothing happens in August. Maybe a Reese Peanut Butter Air Conditioner? But, Oh wait, They already have done this, It’s called The Big Cup.

It’s available at the check out counter of my grocery store and currently it is on sale 3/$1. Instead of some cutesy shape it’s just a big cup. And the nice thing is that you aren’t paying a holiday premium either. At the same store, the Peanut Butter egg is 50 cents. So that’s 17 cents of “we’re going to gouge you with pretty colors and shapes” you’re paying for the egg as opposed to the cup. And Once you tasted “Big”, the regular sized Peanut Butter cups won’t do it for you anymore. Finally, I researched that a Peanut Butter egg is 1.2 oz and a Big Cup is 1.4 oz, so you if you are an Optimist, you are getting a great deal with the Big Cup; and if you are a pessimist, Reese is screwing you with the Easter Eggs.

And what I saw last Wednesday that pushed me over the edge was a “limited edition” Snickers bar. And we all know that “limited Edition” means “We aren’t making a whole until we see if you like them”. Just as Coca Cola released Diet Coke Plus, the not as bad for you soda, M&M Mars has come out with Snickers Plus Charged.

With it’s shiny white wrapper, I thought at first it was a white Chocolate Snickers (haven’t seen one yet), but alas it was a “not as bad for you” candy bar. Now, seeing how much I am willing to sacrifice for you all. I subjected myself as a human guinea pig and consumed one of these death bars for your benefit.

My Take: If I didn’t know it was a “special” Snickers, I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference from a regular one. And given that there are some “bonus” vitamins in there, that’s pretty cool. I mean, I would have to eat 10 Snickers to get the 100%DV of Vitamins B6 and B12 (which is only a 2500 calorie intake, with 130g of fat). It comes with 250mg of Taurine, what ever that does… I am not Googling it right now. It contains 60mg of caffeine. So you can wash this thing down with a Red Bull and be freakin’ high for 2 days. If you listened to Jim Rome today, he was giving away a case of these bars (that’s 288 bars) for the best email of day. I wish I had a chance to play.

I was looking at my neighborhood pharmacy, Walgreens (one on every corner), for a decongestant for The Younger. I’m usually fine with buying generic medicines since they are all just placebos anyway, why not get the cheapest you can. So, I am looking for the Children’s Sudafed in the sea of choice. There’s a decongestant – expectorant, expectorant – cough suppressant, daytime, nighttime, liquid, capsule, liqicap, etc and all the boxes look very similar.

So, I find the Children’s Sudafed and look for the Generic Counterpart, but it’s no where to be seen. I look at my choices: There is Children’s Sudafed Raspberry and Children’s Sudafed Grape. Except that with the Grape Flavor, there is just a card that you take to the pharmist. The pharmisist enters in your driver’s license information (yes, you have to show ID as long as you have a pulse) and see’s if you are on “The List”.

Sudafed, or specifically pseudoephedrine , is one of the key ingredients for methamphetamine (Crystal Meth). Since in East Tennesseee, the greatest amount of fun comes from talking about University of Volunteers, cow tipping and making crystal meth, our section of the planet is a hotspot for unlicense pharmaceutical companies. So much in fact our Govenor has created a Task Force to combat these unregulated processing facilities. As part of the fight against Crystal Meth, Sudafed (and it’s generic counterpart) is regulated to an extent that you can’t go from store to store buying multi-packs of Sudafed.

“10 packs of 96 count Sudafed? That’s quite a bit.”

“Yeah, I’m really sick. Do you have acetone here?”

So even the liquid version of Sudafed is regulated. Well, the grape flavor at any rate since that version contains the pseudoephedrine. The Raspberry flavor you could leave the store without ID at $6.99. Sitting right next to the unregulated Raspeberry Children’s Sudafed were the cards for the Grape Children’s Sudafed. You can, as a parent, decide to give your kid the pseudoephedrine-version, for “medicinal purposes” which is cheaper… don’t get that one. Maybe it’s a refund for having to go through all the work of taking the card to the pharmacist, I dunno. Perhaps the Task Force is betting that Meth Heads tripped out of their minds will pick up the unregulated version to make their Meth. Of course, this would be the same crew that would go to and get a Keg of O’Douls so they could get drunk.

So, if you are ever offered some Raspberry Meth, don’t believe them, Meth Heads prefer Grape.

DON’T FORGET TO PLAY THE CURRENT CAPTION THIS CONTEST NOW THROUGH JAN 30 2008

Here’s an actual conversation that I had with an employee at Joann’s Fabric Store. I went to the store to get a Daddy Gimme (The Younger SPeak for Daddy Blanket) because the highly geeky cool chemistry pattern on the fabric. I brought a 40% coupon but the blanket was 50% off and I used the coupon for some Thomas the Tank Engine Stickers for the kids. So the total is $12.87

Handing her $13 in bills and then 7 cents.

“Here’s 13 and 7 cents”

She types in the amount and the display on the register reads “0.17″. I thought that didn’t seem right, I had given the 7 cents to get 2 dimes (that’s 20 cents for the mathematically challenge ). I leaned over and looked at the receipt as she was digging for the 17 cents. I see “13.04″ typed on the receipt.

“I gave you 13.07, the receipt says 13.04″

“Oh,” she says dropping the change back into the drawer. “How much do I owe you?”

“20 cents.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll trust you.” So she’s getting out the 2 dimes out of the drawer and I say something to the effect of “It’s that whole number thing.”

“Yeah, I’m not good at math, it’s a good thing I don’t need it here.”

*cricket chirping* I walk out of the store thinking “I gotta blog about that”.

Doesn’t need math? In a retail store? In a fabric cutting store, where you have to use numbers and math to figure out how to much fabric to cut? At the register where there is MONEY being exchange? *slaps hand on forehead*