Tag Archives: christmas

Nephewistic Inspiration

As I mentioned in my previous post about our Christmas Endeavors at the In-Laws, I played in the Finding Nemo inspired Guitar Hero rock band SHARK BAIT. Now, as a guest, I didn’t get an offical name as we didn’t go to Mt. IWANNAHAUKALOOGIE and I didn’t go through the Ring of FIRE, but in the future, I might request the name Bruce (as a tribute to Monty Python) but would be fine with Crush (as in his 5 min appearance held the Meat and Potatoes of the movie) or Mr. Ray (he IS a Scientist).

So, I was the Guitarist in the group and being pretty clueless and not the lead singer, Will 7.4 was the one that chose most of the playlist songs. It’s kind of funny and eerie that a 7 yo wants to pick songs that I “grew” up listening to.Jesse’s Girl, Living on a Prayer were some songs that he picked. One song that he picked was Ozzy Osbourne’s Crazy Train.

After Ozzy recent return to fame, the younger generation knows him for a bumbling father and husband who talks, but unlike EF Hutton, no one listens because they don’t know what the Hell he is saying. My Generation knows him for the Satan Worshiping, Backwards Lyrics with Subliminal messages, Bat Eatin, Cat shootin Entertainer. But yet, there are some hooks from some of his songs that are instantly recognizable and you Could Name That Tune in 2 notes. I did not know what the name of the song but eventually learned that the HeadBanger’s Anthem was Ironman. However, the song in the playlist for Guitar Hero game that we played was Crazy Train… I was playing on EASY which is 3 buttons (out of 6) and it was HARD to keep up. I am can only imagine what the other levels were like. So, I am getting butchered in this song…. I don’t remeber what my accuracy was, but it wasn’t pretty.

But all is fair, I guess. I chose No Sleep Til Brooklyn by the Beastie Boys and not only did I expose him to a song with some fast tongue twisting lyrics, but I expanded his vocabulary and shrunk his naivitivity. Example:

“Going coast to coast – watching all the girlies shaking”

“Our manager’s crazy – he always smokes dust”

“Plane to hotel – girls on the jock”

“M.C.A.’s in the back because he’s skeezin’ with a whore”

“Autograph pictures and classy hos”

Which FINALLY brings me to the point that if you have any PEPSI POINTS, they expire TODAY 12-31-2008. Since I still had 15 points (or 3 songs left), one of the songs that I got was Ozzy Osbourne’s Crazy Train. I think I might play the song backwards, just for giggles and not to commune with the dead.

Christmas, now 50 percent off

I am back at the computer now. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t go through withdrawl over the past 8-10 days or so that I have had none to little computer access. Of course, now I am behind and so I have to play catch-up (not to be confused with mustard, which I did yesterday in the bathroom) on everything that is in the Planet3rry eLife.

As, for Christmas, it was a wierd trip this year. It wasn’t “bad” or not enjoyable, it was just different. I never left property until it was time to go. I did go on a Wild Turkey hunt (and no, it wasn’t the 100 proof Wild Turkey) but the “it goes well with cranberry sauce” wild turkey. As for My tradtions that I had been lamenting over the last few posts before Christmas, I never saw Christmas Vacation, the movie. Not even a part of it. I did catch a part of A Christmas Story… and by a part, I mean around 15 minutes total of it… and not all at once. Melanie-In-Law’s boyfriend (JOE JOE JOE), had control of the remote (again, something new to the household) and he kept it on the History Channel for most of the time. And I LOVE the History Channel, so I was mesmerizered when they were going over the Christmas Light Technology of the past 50 years. In the past, I could either turn on Football or A Christmas Story and the remote would be “conveniently lost” for a day.

There wasn’t much singing in the house during Christmas. Usually, Lola guilts strong arms the Kids to sing a few Christmas Songs and I usually play Pool while they sing. Well, there was only Melanie-In-Law on the piano, something that My Lovely and Talented Wife usually does.

It could have been that My Lovely and Talented Wife was Down and Out with some illness, that we go medicine for now that we are back. We had The Cousins (Brian 9.10 and Will 7.4) babysit entertain The Kids, which was a relief to me. We have Brian 9.10 who is a reincarnation of James Calhoun, as he is The Great Compromiser and then there is Will 7.4 who is The Informant. I got to spend time chatting with David-In-Law about “stuff” since we have alot in common and also Amy-In-Law (wife of David and mother of The Cousins).

Probably the coolest part of the whole Christmas in Loris excursion, which even beat out BURNING STUFF for 5 hours, was Playing Guitar Hero with David-In-Law and Will 7.4. I had a BLAST! It was awesome playing Guitar, David-In-Law playing Bass and Will 7.4 was singing. I am actually hoping that we can play it again soon and gives me incentive to practice my shredding skills. FUN FUN FUN.

There are other things, but those will come later, I need to Spread the Wealth around my responsibilities and I don’t want to neglect things, like I have been in the past. Well, that is… not blogging as much.

Christmas Update, Again

You can go ahead and scratch the “I Haven’t baked anything” off the Things I Haven’t Done This Year. This evening, I made some Chocolate-Peanut Butter Marshmellow Squares (GFCF, of course) and then there was the Sugar Cookies, but I used the Vanilla Wafer recipe and they turned out like mini cakes. Go figure. Anyway… they are pretty good, I think I know what I can do next time to make them more wafery. I also made a batch of Sugar Cookie, the real recipe, for My Lovely and Talented Wife to have as an activity with The Kids and cookie cutters. We got a HUGE plastic container of cookie cutters, there are like 100 or so in there. I can see the results now:

“Daddy, this is my Christmas 4 -Leaf Clover”

I wish I had my computer ready… the sun was pretty intense this morning and I have some Macro(ish) pictures of some christmas lights that I was testing last night. Even in ISO100, I was still shooting around 200 or so. I probably should learn how to change the F-stop in Stella and remember it, as in my Canon AV-1 35mm, you have to do it Old Skool.

Still haven’t see Christmas Vacation yet…

Christmas Again

[ed. I wrote most of this on Friday, figured out my WordPress Woes,. but didn’t get to post until Monday]

One of the nice things about working for the University is there are a number of “Administrative Closing” days inherent in the system. This means that you don’t have to worry about taking time off around Christmas to actually have something of a Christmas Holiday. Given that Christmas is on a Thursday, this would mean that most would have the 26th off giving them a 4 day Holiday… although technically, not much happens in (any companiy’s) offices on Christmas Eve… unless there is an interesting “Office” “party” with “mistletoe” and the holiday “yule” “log” when “Santa” is “checking” his “list” to find out who has been “naughty” and “nice”.

The University will be closed all of next week, starting Friday after work. So I get a 9 day weekend. This was one of the perks that swayed me to this job, because it wasn’t the salary amount. Now, I do have to come to work on the 29th… and I only get off on January 1st. But, I will worry about that next year… sheesh.

This year has had its share of traditions and alternations to traditions. For Example… I try to watch A Christmas Story at least twice before going to the In Laws house for Christmas. I can usually get the TV on TBS who has the annual 24hrs of A Christmas Story (you know a Gen-Xer is the scheduler). there, I can watch enough “parts” of the movie to see the entire thing. Well, AS-IF I really need to watch the movie to know what’s going on… I mean… I’ll just play it in my head.

The other movie tradition is Christmas Vacation. Now, I usually would catch this on TV while I was making some Holiday Bakeries… but this year, we don’t really watch TV anymore and I am not baking anything. Seriously. I’d love to make some Soy Milk Fudge… but I don’t have a recipe. I did have the DIVINE inspiration to make some Truffles with Coconut Milk/Cream. Perhaps, that is something I can do in South Carolina. Rumor has it that my in-laws have come up to the mid-2000s and have gotten Wifi. That beats the dial-up they had and perhaps I can be online during the downtime there, if any. Oh… downtime… right.

So, I haven’t seen Christmas Vacation, yet. There is always Monday’s Date Night… don’t worry, I’m not really thinking of a date watching Christmas Vacation.

Another thing that has been altered this year is Christmas Songs. I pooled my Christmas Collection in iTunes and it says that I have 455 Christmas songs which will last 1 day with 1.33 GB of Holidaze music… both includes the Classics and some the Comedy and some the Classic Comedy and some the “What-Tha?”. Typically, my Holiday Season starts with me listening to the U2’s version of Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) and from there I listen to Run-D.M.C.’s Christmas in Hollis then to Jimmy Buffett’s Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rhum then to XTC’s Thanks for Christmas and finalize the beginning of The Season with The Twelve Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug MacKenzie. “What are you doin’?”

Well, I haven’t heard Run-D.M.C or Jimmy Buffett (that specific song) because I have been listening to the 24hr Christmas Music station here in Knoxville B97.5 and in the evening it’s Christmas with Delilah and when it comes to Easy Listening, she is the sappy-love easy listening, so although it’s been some the classics… she’s not going to play Run-D.M.C. Since I stay up late, Delilah goes off the air and then is followed up by the “I Can’t Believe I am actually listening to John Tesh” John Tesh. And it’s train wreck for me… not that I would ever “admit” to listening to Tesh, but there is this thing he does called “Intelligence for your Life” and it’s like CRACK to me! Little informational tidbits with teasers to keep you waiting until the next segment.

Some examples (from Tesh.com) are:
“Police-Friendly Windshield Stickers – posted 12/18/2008
Does Color Have an Impact On What You’re Buying This Year? – posted 12/18/2008
Are You a Left-Lane Slowpoke? – posted 12/18/2008
Are You A Dangerous Driver? – posted 12/18/2008
Don’t Let the Economy Bring You Down This Christmas – posted 12/17/2008
Plastic Surgery Isn’t Only for the Living – posted 12/17/2008
Do You Have “TiVo Guilt?” – posted 12/17/2008
Wanted: The Next Obama Impersonator – posted 12/17/2008
Beware of Chicken Trucks – posted 12/9/2008
Christmas Trees – posted 12/9/2008″

Seriously… I want to find out what Zombies are doing getting Plastic Surgery

“Hey Frank, I heard that Linda over in the Mausoleum got a Face Drop”
“I thought something looked different, she does look more imposing now… but soooo fake.”

*****

Now that it is Monday, I didn’t get to post a Photohunters post NOR a Success Sunday… It’s been like FOREVER since I have done either one of them. Well, it’s not like I haven’t been thinking of them. I just haven’t been writing them. Now that we have My Lovely and Talented Wife’s new laptop, we are going to start getting it ready, which’ll mean that I’ll have a laptop to use and possible get more computer time.

Traditions

It was looking like some of my Christmas Traditions were going to be broken this year…

I had wanted to bake a bunch of stuff this year, but that didn’t happen. We did almost make gingerbread trains and I did successfully make some Peanut Butter fudge using my grandmother’s recipe. The recipe makes 2.25 lbs of fudge. The street value of this fudge is like $63! Seriously… if you go to The Fudgery at the Outlet Mall, they charge around $7 for a “slab” or 1/4 lb of fudge. Now out of all the fudge I made and brought to South Carolina, I must have eaten about $56 of it myself in about 3 days. Oh, it was so good… mmmm Fudge.

So, although I didn’t get to bake everything that I wanted, I made something.

Next was Christmas Specials…

Christmas TV specials used to mean something before the advent of DVDs. I used to wait all year to hear that CBS special music intro that a special event was getting ready to air. Now that all the kids that loved those shows now have full time jobs and can pay money to relive their childhood, the shows are all on DVD ready to be seen anytime of the year.

In the early 1990s while I was in college, I would watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas every chance that TBS aired it. Sometimes they’d even have a mini-marathon of shows. But then as I grew older, I moved toward movies.

A Christmas Story was the first movie that I paid my way as an adult. And well, no matter how often I watch it, I can watch it again. I hadn’t seen the movie yet in 2008 before arriving in South Carolina, but I knew that TBS (or was it TNT) would (I hope) have a 24 hour A Christmas Story Marathon (like they have in the past). And they didn’t disappoint. I watched part of the movie late Christmas Eve and the rest of the movie Christmas Morning.

Christmas Vacation I have on VHS but I should get it on DVD. Seeing that we only have the cable hooked on down stairs, we don’t watch much regular broadcast television. And I don’t spend much time at the TV, but I could fire up the computer and watch the movie on the laptop. Funny, funny movie. I was worried that I wasn’t going to see the movie this year. I hadn’t seen it before leaving for South Carolina and I honestly thought I would miss it. Luckily on the 23rd, I flipped through the channels and catch “most” of the movie. Not my favorite part, but enough of the good stuff and since I had seen it many times, I didn’t actually have to sit down and “watch” it. I could be up and active with the kids when I needed.

Elf is more recent movie that has made a place for itself. The main character in the movie, Buddy, brought the slang word (as far as I can tell) Ginormous to our slang vocabulary. It’s a great movie and the kids actually sat through the entire movie, so that was nice that we could enjoy the movie in it’s entirety. My Lovely and Talented Wife love it so much that we don’t even have to see certain parts of the movie, just knowing that a funny scene is coming up is enough for us to start laughing hysterically. And we make references to the movie all the time.

So, I think I end there for last year’s Christmas season recap. Now, hopefully it won’t be February when I get around to the New Year’s Eve recap…

Prelude to an Eve

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!!

Yes, it’s the Eve to Christmas Eve and we are ready to shop! Being near Myrtle Beach means one thing… okay it means a few things… but for the womens in the family it mean SHOPPING. And nothing says shopping like OUTLET MALLS. I mean, the beach needs something to do when it’s raining, so the outlet malls have began to fester in the Myrtle Beach area.

I was able to coordinate meeting with Devaney and Andy (DevAndy) to meet us at the Beach. They live in Wilmington, NC which is about an hour away. It had been over a year since I had seen him. Devaney is one of my best friends from Longwood College and also my Big Brother in my fraternity. We met up at Wal-mart (since it’s a good location and EVERYBODY knows where to find Wal-mart) and went to eat over at BoJangles. The Rice Bowls at BoJangles (as far as we know) are Gluten Free Casein Reduced (has some cheese) and are very tasty and filling too. We were pleased.

DevAndy and our gang said our goodbyes and headed off in our own directions. Them, back home; us, OUTLETS. The first thing we did was unleash our Au Pair to go shop. She wasn’t able to arrange anything for Christmas so she came home with us. We instructed her NOT to work, since it was a vacation for her and there were plenty of family members to take care of the kids. Now, when you mention the word “Shopping” to our Au Pair, her eyes light up and a smile grows on her face. Clothes, especially Brand Name, are crazy expensive in Brazil… therefore the Outlet stores are like Crack Houses to her. The regular store price of something might be $100, well, the outlet price might be $50-70 if it’s still in-season… in Brazil it’s like $200-300. So either way she wins and so does her sister and boyfriend and other friends. Let’s just say we were glad we brought the van…

****cousins****

The Elder loved His Cousin when he came to visit a few years back, but now he got to meet his other Cousin too. The Older Cousin is 8yo, with very much the intelligence beyond his years. I’m sure if he’s doing recreational calculus in the school playground, but he’s well read and well spoken. And boy, does he enjoy to speak. The Younger Cousin is 6yo and more of the observer when it came to processing new people. In the first 30 seconds of coming into Lolo & Lola’s house, The Older Cousin was already telling us something while the Younger Cousin was seeing if these new creatures were friendly or not.

It didn’t help that Lola was demanding hugs from the grandsons. The Older Cousin reluctantly gave her a hug and the Younger cousin tried to run away and did the “Hug-My-Back” maneuver. All the kids seemed to hit it off pretty well from what I remember. There wasn’t a trip to Emergency Room, so things worked out okay. At some point in time I think The Cousins became bored with my kids, perhaps do to the fact that The Elder and The Younger were relishing in the brain rotting televisions all over the house. I think they were watching some Christmas Scooby Doo episode.

So, needing an adult conversation, the Older Cousin starts asking about The Elder and what videos and video games he has. We proceed to talk about different things, such as Harry Potter and Star Wars. He had a one sided with me about the Lego Star Wars game along with some other video games that I had never played. I kept throwing curve balls out to him about different topics. I asked him who shot first Han or Greedo.

The Younger Cousin tried to chime in the conversation but he couldn’t talk fast enough to get in what he wanted to say. His dad even stepped in sometimes to help but the Older Cousin would pip in… he did tried to show restraint, but it was very difficult for him. I asked the Younger Cousin questions point blank so that his executive function could catch up with him. It’s not that he didn’t know what he wanted to say, it’s just that getting it from the neurons to the mouth was slower than the Older’s Cousin response time and patience. But I think that Younger Cousin was appreciative of the attention that I gave, which in all respects, he deserves. And with no prompting, the Younger Cousin asked if he could sit on my lap… why sure!

The Cousins became instant best friends and we were one day closer to Christmas.

Traveling Highlights

It’s been like a year since I have posted any content. So now, I got quite a bit of stuff to blog about but I don’t want to just dump it in one post. I’ll have to feed you the elephant one spoon at a time.

So when we last left our hero, he was getting ready to pack up his Wild and Crazy Family and head to visit the In-Laws in South Carolina. Not only were the human kids going but we were bringing our furry kid. Typically when we travel, the dog (Skip) gets to go to doggy jail were he gets so excited that they have to give him a sedative so he won’t hurt himself. So, on Saturday 12-22 and ON TIME, we headed out for Carolina: Southside.

****The Travel****

The trip wasn’t all that bad. It was definitely longer because of eating and potty breaks. We ended up eating KFC and trying to take all the breading off to keep the kids Gluten Free… so it was really Gluten reduced. I got an early Christmas present… I was walking Skip at a rest stop when I went over to the “Pet Walk” which is in the much inconvenient place. As I passed by a drain gutter, I noticed President Andrew Jackson look at me from the mouth of the drain. There in plain site and right on the ground was a $20 bill. KA-CHING!

****Lolo & Lola’s House****

Lolo and Lola are Tagalog (Tuh-GOL-ig) for Grandfather and Grandmother. So we kept prefacing that we were going to Lolo & Lola’s house and the kids were so happy that we were finally there. And course so were Mommy and Daddy. From the first time that the kids stepped foot in the house, Lola (very loudly) wanted to get hugs from the kids. The Elder (with sensory and aspergian traits) prefers to scan and acclimate to his new surroundings, then once he is comfortable will show affection with some prodding. The Younger, well, he just loves to hug and get the attention. So while The Elder was trying to avoid getting hugged, The Younger was having blast.

One of the things about Lolo & Lola’s house that fascinated the kids were all the new choking hazards and potential injury play stations. Another thing were the large TVs on the same level of the house. Our biggest TV is around 36″ and downstairs. They had a 42″+ flat screen in the den, plus a 36″ TV in the eating area and then a huge TV in their bedroom. It’s like going to Sam’s and seeing the 3lb bag of M&Ms for the first time. Another “fun” feature for the kids is that the light switchs are lower and easier to operate. Thus Little People can make manual strobe light effects, which doesn’t make the Older People all that happy.

****Skipper Run’s Free****

More on Skip in a minute, but he had the BEST time. Not only did he get plenty of attention, he got a huge amount of exercise. He actually did very well off the leash… I was impressed, but if there were other dogs around, it might not go over so well.

Thanks for Christmas

Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the love and happiness that’s snowing down, all around
Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the winter friendliness that’s snowing down, all around the worldIt’s nearer, children’s eyes shine clearer now
As they decorate the trees, all across the seven seas
It’s nearer, yule log fires burn clearer now
In the winter’s frosty air, sing with us and we can share our

Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the love and happiness that’s snowing down, all around
Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the winter friendliness that’s snowing down, all around the world

It’s dawning, Santa’s reindeer yawning now
All their festive work is done, filling houses up with fun
It’s dawning, here is Christmas morning now
Greatest day of all the year, listen out and you will hear our

Thanks for Christmas

It’s such a shame it’s only one day every year
Three hundred and sixty-four days full of doubts and fear
You’ve been saving your love up, let it out, ‘cos Christmas is here

Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the love and happiness that’s snowing down, all around
Thanks for Christmas
Thank you for the winter friendliness that’s snowing down, all around the world

Thanks for Christmas

Gluten Snuffed Him

Yesterday we had our Christmas party for my place of work. For the second time we had a local pub within walking (or stumbling) distance host our lunchtime celebration. The Old Guys provided the ham and turkey and the bar provided the fixins. We had green beans, mashed potatoes, rolls, gravy and cranberry sauce in addition to the meat. I passed on the gluten ladened dinner rolls, but I did get some of the gravy. Most gravies have flour in them as a thickener.

Funny aside story: My Father In-Law was making some gravy and was using cornstarch as a thickener. If you’ve never used cornstarch, not only will it soothe a baby’s bottom from diaper rash, but when used as a thickener, you don’t need a whole lot. So, he puts some in, stirs and stirs, still liquid, puts some more in, stirs and stirs, puts some more in… by the time that he was done, you could ask for a slice of gravy with your potatoes.

In the past, after the lunch, we have a gift exchange and a dessert feast where everyone brings in a dessert from home. However, this year, we were doing a chocolate fondue for the dessert. Fancy huh? Here in East Tennessee we pronounce the “t” in Gourmet! So, we signed up for items for dippage. I chose the fat free, gluten free, casein free Marshmallow as the item I would bring.

So we were in the conference room dipping and eating and more dipping and one of the items on the table was chocolate brownies. Not the normal made from the box chocolate brownies. These were homemade from one of the respected bakers in our workgroup. The looked so moist and packed with chocolate. I sat there and fantasized about eating one of those brownies… but NO, they had gluten in them. Sure, I was eating a bunch of casein in the milk and white chocolate fondues, but I had been pretty good about the gluten (from the gravy).

But then, some how a brownie ended up on my plate. In front of Congress, I would have to say “I do not recall picking up the brownie.” THat’s my story… hell, it has worked before. So, I had the brownie with some chocolate and oh my, it was so moist and delicious. It was SO worth eating. I mean, if you are going to break the rules, it should be worth it. And since I had ONE brownie in one flavor of chocolate, I had to eat ANOTHER one, right?

So, I had maybe 4 brownies all in all. I had a normal afternoon and evening. Even the morning was shaping up nicely, took The Elder to school and then it hit me. BAMM! The Gluten Effect started in… as I was driving into work, I was feeling my eyes get heavy… very heavy. I made it in to work and sitting in my chair things began to dim. I’m not exactly sure how long I was out, but it must have been a while. I was dead to the world.

Once I was back in reality, things were fine and I didn’t feel tired or exhausted or bad at all. And so now, we’ll be in SC and there will be plenty of Gluten temptations around… I just know.

Destination: The Mall

No Holiday Shopping experience would be complete without going to The Mall. That stress free place where everyone is happy to be there and order and peace are shared with a cup of cheer.

When My Lovely and Talented Wife suggested that, I thought I would rather poke sharp sticks in my eyes, eat shards of glass and roll around in hot coals. Then I reconsidered… glass has a high silica content. I drove tentatively heading East to Hell The Mall, waiting for any chance to have to jump on to the back streets to get through the heavy traffic of other shoppers heading to Hell The Mall.

Surprisingly enough, I didn’t have to make any drastic off road ventures. No Road Rage. Parking was a little more difficult though, we didn’t find anything right up close, but the parking lot didn’t look like it was the Christmas holidays.

Upon entering Sears, there was no large crowd. Making our way through the extra racks of Must Haves, we made our way to the Mall Highway. Again, there was a lack of human beings that made it seem subdued. Perhaps, Monday had a bigger effect than what I imagined. And that it was a little later, only 7pm, but even at 9pm the volume of people didn’t seem to have waned any. So has the volume of shoppers been consistently down?

Hell The Mall is about the same as it ever was. It had been months since I had been to Hell The Mall, most of the same shops were there, but a few were moved. The Kiosks that disease the middle aisle of Hell The Mall, had changed a bit to fit “The Next Great Thing” or the “Coolest New Crap”.

We stopped at Starbuck’s Wannabe Barnie’s to get our snobby over priced coffees. Although we did have to ask for “Soy” (at a premium) we didn’t have to use weird size names, I got to say “Small” when I wanted the diminutive size. I was pretty excited because I saw they had the White Chocolate Sugar Water Flavored Syrup. I am one Frothing Mug Short of being able to play Starbuck’s at home. “NO, Curse You get it RIGHT! Tall does NOT mean Large, and It’s GRANNN-DAY not GRAND and I don’t care you can’t say Venti… JEEZ, you are 2 and A HALF Years old, how are you going to survive in world? Oh yeah, you’re dang cute… that’s be $17.50”

However, the guy behind the counter recognized the TMBG Fleece sweatshirt that I had on. Apparently, he had one too. Wow, cool, yeah…

I was really hoping that I would have some great material about our experience in Hell The Mall, but sadly, it was just about as mundane as every other trip.

Oh, one store that had a relocation and an noticeable increase in store volume was Victoria Secret. They have started Marketing even younger now, trying to get the girls branded earlier so that when they do need that Wonderbra or lace teddy, VS come to mind faster than the Lingerie Department at Wally World. I called I Love Pink or something like that based on Pink University, which on a lot of different levels is just wrong, but let’s pretend it’s about being in love with the color Pink. The Marketeers definitely have that store coated in Pink. Pink this Pink that… pink pink pink. I *heart*Pink. Yeah… Aerosmith “Hearts” pink… no sexual overtones there *cough cough*. So another “Sex Sells” Marketing ploy… where else but in Hell The Mall.

The Sprint Store, which we went into go look at new phones since I am eligible for an upgrade, but the 1 guy that was there was on the phone the entire time and didn’t make one move to try to help us. No big problem though, he wouldn’t have made a sale. But I think I did decide that the Katana DLX is very sexy (sorry, still thinking about Victoria’s Secret – effective marketing) but I might wait until after Christmas just to see what the new stuff they bring for their after Christmas sales.

After Sprint, I drooled over… not passing the Victoria Secret store again, but the Godiva Chocolatier store. Go figure… another woman reference, except she’s TOTALLY naked, not just wearing silky skivvies. So where am I? Oh yeah… Mmmmm Chocolate. However, my fatigue overpowered my desire to window shop over Casein rich treats.

We did see a minor Knoxville Celebrity… Mayor Haslam. He was out carousing the malls for something. We technically live in the county, so he’s not my Mayor, but he’s a public servant and in the community’s eye.

Another store of no interest was one that had nothing in it but Black and White clothes. How utterly DULL. Come to think of it, that’ were Victoria Secret used to be…

We spent a good time in Williams Sonoma looking at the nice dreamy kitchen appliances. Of course, the nice plump pink Kitchen Aide stand mixer with the all the “attachments” was top of the list. They had some great stuff there, but we had to leave Hell The Mall and bid Adieu. So we left and went to a more practical store, Target.