Tag Archive for aspergers

Prise de Fer

February 6, 2008 planet3rry 5 comments

Prise de Fer
(French : Literally take the steel); also “Taking the Blade”; an engagement of the blades that attempts to control the opponent’s weapon. See also beat, press, expulsion, bind, croisé, envelopment, opposition, transfer.

I was chatting online with one of my best friends from college and he sent me a PDF article from American Fencing Magazine about his cousin’s son (Nathan) who has Asperger’s Syndrome and also fences. Not as in White Picket but as in “ENGARDE!” type fencing.

nathan

Download the article in PDF form HERE (will open in new Window)

Nathan’s story is unique because of (what I guess) is some sensory issues associated in conjunction with the Asperger’s, running his hands through his service dog’s fur (the sensory part) helps lower the anxiety of being in the fencing arena (Aspergers). The Elder has a similar tick, which is pulling strings… which would NOT go over well with getting a service dog. The Loud and Lovable Skipper Doodle has enough to worry about just getting his tail pulled.

It’s pretty awesome that Nathan is participating in a sport that demands such physical coordination. Typical Aspergians have normal to poor body control which is why they are deemed “clumsy” or “uncoordinated”. To participate in this sport that requires precision is not only fun but also great therapy. Also, this type of sport is great because it gives him the atmosphere of competition but he doesn’t have the baggage of playing on a team sport. Sure, he has his own anxiety, everybody does, but for Aspergians “fitting in” on the team is often more difficult than not.

In the next episode of my running podcast Gravity@1053′ I am going to talk about why I think that running, especially marathons, is a perfect fit with my Aspergers. I’ll be publishing it on or near March 3rd. Plus, fencing will be coming to the forefront of the world this year. Okay, maybe not the forefront, but it’s part of The Olympics and this is An Olympic Year. Here’s the website to U.S. Fencing, in case you want to figure out what Passata-sotto is (hint: It’s NOT a new dish at Olive Garden)

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Step in the Right Direction

January 11, 2008 planet3rry One comment

I’m in a much better mind frame now then when I was just 1.25 hours ago. I made it to the bank, got the letter I needed, had some fees reimbursed, paid a bill that was late (and I didn’t know until last night), found a new (to me) recycling area, called a person that I didn’t want to call but did anyway, ate some chocolate…

Now, I am back at my desk with only my first diet coke of day and despite the drop in temperature, I am ready to run today.

oh… and it helps that I’m up about 20% in my investments! Well, at least right now… that could change but right now… all is good.

aspergers, Life In General

GI Joe and Naked Oatmeal

January 11, 2008 planet3rry 4 comments

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV) the following is one of the symptoms for diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome (p77)B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:
2. Apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals.

Here’s the scenario: Friday is Date Night. My Lovely and Talented Wife was going to have some business near my place of work, therefore it would be logical for me to take the bus in the morning and then she could pick me up after she was done and we could have date night downtown. Simple Right. Well, I was okay with this. On Friday’s The Elder does not have school, so my routine in the morning is flexible. The only requirement is that I have to get the trash out because Friday is Trash Day.

The bus that leaves from Farragut and goes to UT has two departure times: 6:45am and 7:15am. For me to make it to the bus stop, I have to leave my house somewhere between 10-15 minutes before the time that I wanted to get there. Therefore, I would need to leave the house around 6:30-6:35am or 7:00-7:05. I would still need time to get ready, Friday’s are casual day, so maybe 10 minutes max. I would need to get the trash together and at least make the kids their breakfast, another 15 minutes. Loading the car, eh, 5 minutes. Plus make my smoothie, another 5 minutes. So, I would need to wake up somewhere between 6-6:30am to have enough time to get ready on my own terms.

The Kids woke me up at 6:35. And The Younger was very clingy… The Elder was fine but soon would be falling into an Asperger/Sensory meltdown that would rupture my thought process and instead of getting to work 45 minutes EARLY, I would end up being 30 minutes LATE.

The beginning of the Scenario starts with breakfast. The Younger indicated that he wanted Grits and The Elder wanted “Daddy Oatmeal” (read: flavored oatmeal). So, I make the oatmeal and the grits, thinking that The Younger is going to switch his mind because The Elder wanted Oatmeal and The Younger does whatever Everyone Else does.

I let the breakfasts cool down and then set them in front of the kids. The Younger, begins to eat his food, unassisted and unprompted. The Elder begins to meltdown. He doesn’t want to eat his Oatmeal. He tosses his milk cup, gets naked, threatens to pee on the floor, runs to his room, screams, and when he is set into a “wait area” he is crying.

He’s in a state of not using his words to tell us what is bothering him, even though we know that he can. Everything is familiar… bowl, spoon, milk, even the presentation of oatmeal is the same. Telling him that he has to eat his breakfast is making him meltdown even further. My Lovely and Talented Wife put the timer on the stove and tells him that he has 5 minutes to eat his oatmeal and then finally we get some indication on why he has been acting like a maniac.

It turns out that he didn’t want the spoon that I gave him. The same spoon that I’ve served him the last 3 times, instead he wanted the smallest (infant sized) version of our silverware. Once he got this spoon he ate his food without a problem and without fuss.

In contrast, our fairly neurotypical child, ate all of his grits with a regular sized spoon. Told us he was finished and asked up politely for more food.

So, back your Host (me)… this episode ended around 7:40 and so for me to get the rest of my stuff together, the trash, get ready for work… I finally left the house right after 8:05… totally in the wrong frame of mind because my routine, has been altered and even delayed because now I am late. It didn’t help that I missed my Breakfast Smoothie (for the second day in a row) and that I was late taking my anxiety meds.

Now, at work… I am very irritated and people are bothering me… just by talking amongst themselves. It’s distracting me from this post and I want to get this out. WON’T THEY JUST SHUT THE F- UP?

To screw up my routine even worse is that I have to do some bank stuff this morning… stuff that should have been taken care of without my assistance. And so… does this mean that I won’t get to workout… All HELL will break lose if I can’t do that. I need the comfort and routine of running to get back on the right path. I can tell that I am going to have chocolate cravings and drink extra diet coke this morning and afternoon.

But seeing that I am on the Spectrum and this is normal for me… I know how to control myself. I can now recognize what is happening and more importantly WHY. The Elder, doesn’t know why he’s acting the way he is… but we do. My Lovely and Talented Wife understands (better than I) how his Aspergian mind works and how it functions. So she can get the desired response (i.e. eat oatmeal) without her becoming too upset or frustrated… because SHE knows. Our marriage is MUCH MUCH better… because she KNOWS. It’s harder for me to see because I’m in the forest and can only see trees, but I am getting better at seeing the signs and understanding MY limitations. Because, if I … can get you to perceive that I am “pleasantly eccentric” then I’m on the right track.

So today… right now… is a little tough… but I know. And as I learned from the Neo-Classic (celebrating 25 years) GI Joe “Knowing is HALF the battle”…Doing is the other half.

Because of my inflexibility to adapt to the change in schedule… I’ve also met this criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome, which is one that I can usually overcome, especially when I around people I am NOT comfortable with as a way to appear normal.

A. Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
4. Lack of social or emotional reciprocity.

One of the ladies here donated her hair to Locks of Love. Now this is a huge step for a woman… not only do have to plan for this… you have to be willing to make the huge change in hairstyle. My reaction this morning… indifference. I will have to make up for this later today when I have higher functioning… my coworker doesn’t understand how I am… so I’m sure that my body language was something closer to asshole jerk than someone who is impressed that she would take that step especially since she is helping others.

So… it’s now 10am… the fog of frustration is starting to lift and I have 2 hours to get stuff done so that I can workout today and get BACK into my routine.

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Aspergian Christmas

December 20, 2007 planet3rry 4 comments

Earlier in December, I had decided that I was going to write a post about Christmas’ past and how what I experienced was related to my Aspergers and what stuff was just “the Holidays”. But instead of being an Oracle and predicting the course of events, I am going to wait and analyze everything afterwards. I want to see how some things play out, both on my part and the part of the relatives that we will be seeing this Christmas time.

I have a couple of Special Interest stuff planned while we are there, so that should (and I say should) keep out actually being depressed as has been the case in year’s past. And we’ll see how my downtime goes. Now that I understand more about myself, and how and why I operate I can better moderate myself and be less of an asshole and more of a smart ass, because let’s face it… I’m much more social when I’m being one of those than when I am being the former.

It also helps that the meds have greatly cut down on my ambient anxiety level. So, right now, I am anxious about our trip but I think that’s more on a level of what someone might deem “normal level” rather than being off the deep end about everything and thus waiting until the last possible minute to do everything, shutting down, becoming a recluse and making everyone’s life miserable. There are procrastinators out there, professional ones, who can wait until the very last moment and be stressed but not have a total physical and mentally collapse. Hopefully, I will be one of those this year, except without the “waiting until the last moment part.”

aspergers, Life In General

Ransom: Good Marketing

December 16, 2007 planet3rry 2 comments

Seasoned Readers here know that I am a sucker for great Marketing. I have been known to purchase a certain Diet Soda just about exclusively because they run a Reward program that involves Codes that I put in My account and I can get free stuff. Or, the Easter Posts about the number of Cadbury creme eggs that I ate because you can only get them near Easter time. I like smart advertising, where the marketing people have done their research or have a ground breaking creative advertisement. Sometime low-brow humor has some merit.

And I don’t necessarily like to bring up poor advertising because it can spread like the plague, bad press can act more quickly than good press. However, there are somethings that need to be stopped as soon as possible. It’s just the nature of the world I guess. So, I am linking to My Lovely and Talented Wife’s post about a blog entry at AutismVox on the NYU ad campaign.

If you’re a social advocate, I would encourage you to check out the posts and the method that NYU is using to raise awareness of “untreated psychiatric disorders,” including autism, Asperger Syndrome, bulimia, depression, ADHD, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Basically, these disorders have become kidnappers and have stolen the lives of children and their families. Hmmm… if that is true, then we just need to give enough money and it will go away. That’s what a kidnapper is really after… money. The kid is just leverage.

The ads are suggesting that Asperger’s will make a child become a social recluse who will live an unfulfilled life. Perhaps, but I have to argue that ANY child could find that same fate, it’s all how that child is nurtured. You hear about the stories of the children coming out of the poverty of the inner cities to great wealth and fortune because their parents or some other role model nurtured them. Or what about the super rich kid that has everything in the world, but becomes a drug addict because they are trying to find acceptance.

These ads are confusing because when a child is kidnapped, they are missing. There is no indication of the child’s health except through communication of the kidnapper. However, with Aspergers and other disorders, the child isn’t lost. They aren’t locked up, they are able to experience their world in their own terms. And better yet, the parents or other role models can nurture them. Asperger’s never kidnapped me and left me with the inability to live a successful live.

So, the ad campaign just has some bad marketing, that’s all. There’s an online petition to request that this advertisement is stopped. Perhaps NYU needs to outsource their marketing campaign to the Beer Companies, they do a damn good job.

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Weekend Update

December 10, 2007 planet3rry 3 comments

Our Sunday School Soiree wasn’t too bad. Although I should have had something to drink, just to take the edge off… it was okay. I think there were only a few times that I had to wander around trying to get into the conversations. I found out that one guy is home brewer and was going to travel 2 hours (one way) just to get specialty beer. (I need to hang out with him more) and another guy has the saem cholestoral problem as I do. Borderline high (around 210ish) and no matter what we do, is doesn’t go down… curse you genetics!!! I was telling him about the Smoothie (or ‘schmovie’ as The Younger calls it) that I have almost every morning that has premium flax seed oil and that has helped a bunch.

The gift exchange was a riot. Everyone who brought a gift pulled a number out of the hat. And in order, you picked a gift OR you could take a gift that was already chosen. For Example, the person who was picking 8th could take the gift that the 3rd person opened. The 3rd person would then either chose someone else’s gift or pick a new one. An open gift could only be taken 3x, meaning the person taking it the 3rd had it forever. Our Elvis clock was the first to be “taken” by another couple. Two gifts stood out, a wig and a Mrs. Claus nightie. The wig (as we found out) was a wig that was used as a spare and for “replacement plugs”, but it looked between a cross between Mrs. Brady and 80s Mullet. It actually got “Taken” by another person who was going to wear it to work (he is a little on the receeding hair side). The Mrs. Claus nightie was a red, wrap around (not much in the “around” part), lingerie that had a santa hat. You can imagine that there was quite a bit of comments going around.

Elvis
Ours was the Blue Suede Shoes Elvis Clock

 

Our Booty
The glasses are surprisingly REAL glass!

Our gift was something that we could actually “use”, sort of. We got a pair of butt ugly wine glasses and two decorative wine toppers. The tree wine stopper actually looks nice. The Santa one, is just plain gross hilarious. If you look at the Santa topper, it makes it look like Santa is taking a huge dump right into the wine. Granted, some wine doesn’t taste too far off from a nice porclein libation (ask your Dog which flavor is best), but do I need Santa “looking” like I was on the “naughty” list AND he ran out of coal?

Santa wine topper

What I had forgotten was that The Elder was having his Christmas Party on Saturday. My Lovely and Talented Wife had an appointment so this meant that I would need to being the kids and she would meet me there. Easy enough. In fact, we made it the place 20 minutes early and we drove around the country backroads so that The Younger could sleep some more.

All but one of The Elder’s classmates were there. So, the house was full of kids, parents and two babies. It was very nice and easy to chat with these parents. They are in the same situation as we are with The Elder. I don’t think I brought up running once! I did take out Stella and have to download pictures from her. Not sure that I got any good pictures, but I’ll check.

It was very nice to network with some other parents with kids the same age as our kids and some with even siblings who don’t have Aspergers, so it’s very similar.

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Kudos

December 2, 2007 planet3rry 4 comments

My Lovely and Talented Wife has really just discovered blogging. It wasn’t until July, shortly after The Elder’s Asperger diagnosis that she started compiling her thoughts, etc about her life and what was she was finding. She now is an award winning blogger. She was just given an award for “Nice Matter’s Award” (as if Zombie killing doesn’t matter -pfft). As part of her duty as an award winner, she passed along the award to friend of the Planet3rry blog, a 2 time Marathoner Finisher and all around cool gal, Susan from I Run For My Life!

And on top of the award, see just posted her 100th post Check out my Award Winning Lovely and Talented Wife (but she doesn’t give away free crap)!

aspergers, Life In General ,

The Aspergian Meltdown

November 19, 2007 planet3rry 3 comments

I’m not exactly sure if I had a great weekend or not. It seemed to be a roller coaster, UP and DOWN… and from my point of the view the DOWNs seemed to last a little bit longer than the UPs, but that could just be perception.

I wasn’t going into the weekend very well, with Thursday’s Lose My Key Game. It’s bad enough when my routine is broken but at least when it’s broken by me (i.e. lose key, then lock key in trunk), I can handle it. And the only person that it really affected was Soon-To-Be-Doctor David, who had to take me out of his way to my house. Thankfully his wife was working a class and so that was pretty low impact (I owe him a beer though)

Then comes Friday, and I have a Double Whammy. First, I forget, or rather, not even bother to get the spare key. Which now affects 4 people (My Lovely and Talented Wife, The Elder, The Younger and The Au Pair), so now that’s more stress that going on in my mind. But then things turn around again and I didn’t get the Basketball Tickets because since I didn’t get a “yes or no” email that I now have ruined, or at least greatly altered, date night. Thus affecting myself and My Lovely and Talented Wife.

So by the time Friday night is coming to a close, I am shutting down. I actually crash pretty early in the night. There was still plenty of date night left, but overwhelmed… I was useless.

Saturday Morning, I was visiting my own Aspergian planet as I was more concerned with getting the kids out of the house, that I failed to help prep the house for the event that my wife was hosting. It wouldn’t have taken much to make a few nice changes to the sofa pillows or the fragrance in the bathroom but I was focused on getting the kids out and running the errands, because that’s what was on my list. I did find the 9 codes (worth 90 coke points), but I could have prevented alot of anxiety.

The game was mixed, since the Football game itself was good, but I didn’t take care enough for my wife’s gloves and lost them somewhere… I don’t know where. She tells me it’s okay, but it’ll take me 10-15 minutes just to partially recover from the event to get back into the game. Then I really take a nose dive on the way back to the car, and piss My Lovely and Talented Wife off with some poorly asked questions, and that just seriously takes me down. I personally don’t recover from this until Sunday, when something else comes up that trumps it. When I start to shutdown, I lose the ability to respond in a timely manner. In typical conversation, I had a decent (but not great) response time to questions, questions which are preferred subjects are typically answered quickly. Questions that required more thought are generally answered after a pause, which may or may not proceed any prompting from me that I am thinking about it, thus giving the impressions of lack of interest, ignoring the questions from the other person or some other rude behavior. Oh yeah, I upset My Lovely and Talented Wife before the game due to this very thing because I was recovering from forgetting the stadium blanket, thus requiring us to turn around (about 1.5 miles from home), thus making us off schedule, thus maybe making us late to see the pregame events and traffic wasn’t helping.

Sunday was a little better for myself. Saturday’s events were as debilitating but our normal sunday routine was thrown for a loop and we didn’t get anything done in the morning that we normally do. It did back on track and I had some solace in making our Sunday Gluten Free, Casein Free Pizza. Then The Elder and I played while The Younger and My Lovely and Talented Wife took naps. Once The Younger awoke, the Kids and I went outside for a photo excursion until dinner time when the kids had Chicken and the Adults had Crab Legs. I tried to get back Sunday evening by getting the house and my other chores finished and completed for the weekend.

I had really wanted to read another Chapter in the Attwood Book, but I never made time for it. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be getting some meds to help with the extra anxiety that I feel when the schedule falls apart and I start my spiral down, because unlike NT (neurotypical) when things start to go wrong or change it’s typically a vicious cycle. The Elder has the same thing when it comes to changing tasks, we have to give him a 5 minute warning period or he’s upset for a long time, because when you attempt to change an Aspergian Schedule, it’s like a Box of Chocolates.

Never know

If you are curious about the workings of an Asperger mind when it comes to communication, Here is great post from the blog Aspergian Square 8 titled Let’s have a conversation. And I’ll have to remember this post when I go into some of my conversation coping strategies…

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Dumpster Diving pt 4

November 9, 2007 planet3rry 4 comments

Yesterday I was supposed to go to a Rights Workshop for Tennessee and Special Needs Children, but the place that was supposed to hold the event was locked and the lights were off. I had changed my plans, or actually didn’t make any plans for Thursday since it the workshop was listed for 3 hours.

One aspect of people with Aspergers is that they function best with strict schedule and a set routine. I’m high enough functioning that I can recover from a change of plans, without having a meltdown. You try to tell The Elder a change is happening immediately that is against ‘The schedule’ and expect a meltdown. However, give him a 1 minute transition warning and it’s usually much smoother.

So after 30 minutes in the parking lot, I decided that no one was coming and so now what do I do? On Terry Thursdays, I make a schedule broken down in 15 increments. And it’s not that I actually follow the schedule exactly, it’s that it’s there in front of me and there is security in that. If it needs to be changed, I have the ultimate authority to change it at my whim… and that’s perfectly fine. But now, someone else has totally eradicated what I was supposed to do for Thursday. I was in a state of paralysis, “what do I do next?”

I knew that I had to drive back to Knoxville, I was currently in Oak Ridge (about 20 minutes away). So while I drove back, I was able to come up with a loose plan of going to the Recycle Facility (I had the trunk full of cardboard and mixed paper) and the to maybe Wal-mart and perhaps to Panera Bread to regroup.

By the time that I made it to the Recycle Facility, I was okay again. It’s like I was back on track and could think again about stuff that I needed to do while I was out.

I almost thought that my streak of finding My Coke Reward points was going to be broken. There were no empty soda boxes in the Mixed Paper bin. And as much as Marianna thinks that I get inside the container to scavenge for points, I don’t. Oh wait, I was waist deep in the container briefly because I was tossing the mixed paper and I lost my grip on the plastic bag and it slid inside. I could hear the recycling gods start to exhibit their anger that I, a mere mortal, had mixed paper and plastic. Blasphemer!

Just when I thought I would be writing this blog entry with words such as “didn’t find any points” or “there was nothing of value this time”, that’s when I saw something gleaming from the larger Cardboard Container. It was a Mello Yello box, flatten down with all the care of an OCD soda drinker/ cardboard recycler. I smelled smoke. Pilfering through the other box carcasses, I found another Mello Yello and then, I struck gold, a Coke box. But it didn’t have the tab that the points. Grrrr, Fools Gold.

“Thoughts become Things” (Think and Grown Rich, Hill) Withjust a little more shuffling, I found it! The streak was still alive! HA! A Refrigerator Pack worth 10 points (as long as they hadn’t already redeemed them). Then I found another. and another and another. FOUR codes! *fist pump* YEAH!

aspergers, Life In General , ,

A neurobiological dilemma

October 25, 2007 planet3rry One comment

I had to tell myself “Stop Thinking about the Story” while I was running today. Actually, I had to tell myself TWICE because I was writing a chapter in my forthcoming book. Yeah, that’s all you need: Terry’s thoughts printed and bound. Well, it’s going to happen. I just have to figure this whole writing thing out. Grammar Rock can only take me so far.

So on with the regularly scheduled blog entry.

So, I am running today at lunch (there’s the running reference) and I am approaching the intersection of Volunteer and Lake Loudon Drive, a mere 0.3 miles into my 5 mile run. I notice two golf-cart vehicles in the turn lane waiting for the left signal onto Volunteer Blvd. In the front vehicle are 2 girls, in the second vehicle are 2 boys. The boys were being obnoxious and honking the golf-cart horn seeming at the chagrin of the girls. The girls were apparently either a little embarrassed at the attention they were receiving from the horn honking or this was their first time one of the golf cart out on the road. It’s not like the golfcart things are uncommon on campus, the Sports Department lives on them. After all, why would you want to walk or run from athletic facility to athletic facility, when you could sport around in a nice golf cart. Just ask any one who is 65yo or older and lives in Florida.

So as I am approaching the corner to turn onto Lake Loudon and go down the hill, I look at the girls in the first cart as my scan of the intersection was finishing (to avoid oncoming traffic) when the passenger girl says, “Hiiiii.”

Here’s what I wished had happened:
“Hiiiii,” says the passenger girl. I raise my hand in a greeting gesture look her way and compliment her on the fine set of wheels she has to take her around campus.

“Nice Wheels there,” I would say in a semi-playful yet sarcastic tone. Had there been more time, I would have added “Speed Limit is 25mph on campus, don’t get a ticket.”

But what really happened was that my Asperger’s over powered my desire for witty banter and caused me to temporary shutdown. Thankfully, I had already initiated a hand wave, or else I would have looked like an elitest prick as I looked at them, acknowledging their existence and not saying anything and blowing them off. When, in reality… it’s nice to have someone not yell obscenities at you while you are running.

The wave that I started was followed with a feeble “Hey” and as soon as the girl started to say “Hiiiii”, I looked away as quickly as I could to focus on the back of a student in the distance. I could not make eye contact with her and say “hey” at the same time.

I went on to think that this happens to me all the time. I will make eye contact on my own terms, typically, when someone is not looking at me. Now that I know that I have Aspergers and that avoiding eye contact is something that is wired in my brain, I have to remember to make an effort for eye contact. Now, I do have 30+ years of making conversation (sometimes one-sided) so there has been somethings that I learned. But I still feel that I might be staring to hard and giving the “He’s too creepy” vibe or that I am staring and giving the “Hey, Baby…” look or that I am not looking in them eyes and giving them the “I’d rather be somewhere else” feeling.

One thing that I am experimenting with is to stare away on purpose and pretend that I am trying to think of something or performing second derivatives in my mind. [Ed. I typically do not perform second derivatives in my head, but first derivatives are fair game] This way, I can get the calmness of not looking at someone in the eyes without seeming to “pleasantly eccentric”

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