I hope this is a 10lb Ham

For our New Year’s celebration we were going over to a couple’s house that we think are pretty cool and our Elder sons are best friends, even despite the fact that The Elder has bitten him (in the past) repeatedly. Go figure, I guess kids are more forgiving than adults. The plan was for us to bring over a Ham and a dessert. Through our food service, we get a spiral cut ham each time we order just for occasions like this. Now, I had pulled it out to defrost it, but I still needed to warm it up and consequently needed the weight for cooking purposes.

I picked the Ham up and couldn’t tell how much it weighed. So I broke out our hi-tech kitchen scale but that only goes to 5lbs and I got an ERR on the screen. Next stop: Bathroom. Now, I do some pretty weird things, but when I was talking with My Lovely and Talented Wife and carried the ham back to the bedroom, she seemed a little taken back. What in the world was I doing with a Ham in the bedroom. We’ll leave the “Meat in the bedroom” jokes for pervs, but I went to bathroom to use our High Powered Scale. I explained that I needed to know the weight so that I would know how long to warm it up.

So, I step on the scale (with the ham) and it reads 178.8.

“I hope this is a 10lb ham,” I exclaimed.

Not wanting to do recreational math, I put the ham directly on the scale and it read 8.8lbs. So now I knew that I needed to heat it up for about an hour and 20 minutes. But my word, that meant that I was pushing 170lbs!

As I was thinking about this post running yesterday, I fully expected that I would get some “170! You think that 170 is heavy… come on skinny bastard! GET REAL” And I don’t think that I am fat, but I am not as skinny as I was just a month ago when I was 162lbs. Basically, I put on 2lbs a week for the last 4 weeks and most of that was with eating that crack fudge over Christmas.

Socially speaking, I am not overweight. I have a fairly athletic body, and apart from having a bird chest and some love handles on the side, I am pretty comfortable with my weight.

If you ask the Government (WE ARE HERE TO HELP), I am officially overweight. With a BMI of ~25.5, I am in the “overweight” category. I wonder if there is some government assistance I can get because of my BMI, maybe there is some Government mandated Speed that they can give me for “Medicinal Purposes Only” (wink wink nudge nudge).

Another thing that I thought of while I contemplating my weight yesterday was the “Fat Boy/Girl” award that are sometimes given out at races. Someone thought, “lets help the overweight people get an award” and created the Clydesdale or Hercules/Athena Division. And I totally agree that people who carry some extra (or a lot) of weight around should be awarded for their effort. I should calculate the energy output of a 140lb runner running 3.1 miles in 14 minutes as opposed to a 250lb runner running 3.1miles in 35 minutes. But that’s for another post…

Well, in these divisions, I have seen 6’2″ guys who are legitimately over 200lbs run a 5k in 20 minutes and get the award. Although they meet the qualification, I don’t think they meet the spirit of the division. If the Goliath Division was organized by BMI and I was in the Overweight division, which I qualify for based on Government Standards, how fair would it be for me to run a 5k in 24 minutes… or how about Barry Sanders (former NFL great running back) who was 5’8″ (same as me) and 185lbs… he’s even MORE overweight than I am and (much)10 faster.

So, I have put on some winter weight, that I need to eventually take off at some point. Now that the baking and holidays are over, it should be too hard. Well, except that I have seen those delicacies for which I so crave… I have seen EASTER CANDY!

About planet3rry

I'm a husband, father and runner in the Knoxville area. I love the way that running makes me feel and how it has changed my thinking. I am always looking for the new PR whether in the 5k or the marathon