The Aspergian Meltdown

I’m not exactly sure if I had a great weekend or not. It seemed to be a roller coaster, UP and DOWN… and from my point of the view the DOWNs seemed to last a little bit longer than the UPs, but that could just be perception.

I wasn’t going into the weekend very well, with Thursday’s Lose My Key Game. It’s bad enough when my routine is broken but at least when it’s broken by me (i.e. lose key, then lock key in trunk), I can handle it. And the only person that it really affected was Soon-To-Be-Doctor David, who had to take me out of his way to my house. Thankfully his wife was working a class and so that was pretty low impact (I owe him a beer though)

Then comes Friday, and I have a Double Whammy. First, I forget, or rather, not even bother to get the spare key. Which now affects 4 people (My Lovely and Talented Wife, The Elder, The Younger and The Au Pair), so now that’s more stress that going on in my mind. But then things turn around again and I didn’t get the Basketball Tickets because since I didn’t get a “yes or no” email that I now have ruined, or at least greatly altered, date night. Thus affecting myself and My Lovely and Talented Wife.

So by the time Friday night is coming to a close, I am shutting down. I actually crash pretty early in the night. There was still plenty of date night left, but overwhelmed… I was useless.

Saturday Morning, I was visiting my own Aspergian planet as I was more concerned with getting the kids out of the house, that I failed to help prep the house for the event that my wife was hosting. It wouldn’t have taken much to make a few nice changes to the sofa pillows or the fragrance in the bathroom but I was focused on getting the kids out and running the errands, because that’s what was on my list. I did find the 9 codes (worth 90 coke points), but I could have prevented alot of anxiety.

The game was mixed, since the Football game itself was good, but I didn’t take care enough for my wife’s gloves and lost them somewhere… I don’t know where. She tells me it’s okay, but it’ll take me 10-15 minutes just to partially recover from the event to get back into the game. Then I really take a nose dive on the way back to the car, and piss My Lovely and Talented Wife off with some poorly asked questions, and that just seriously takes me down. I personally don’t recover from this until Sunday, when something else comes up that trumps it. When I start to shutdown, I lose the ability to respond in a timely manner. In typical conversation, I had a decent (but not great) response time to questions, questions which are preferred subjects are typically answered quickly. Questions that required more thought are generally answered after a pause, which may or may not proceed any prompting from me that I am thinking about it, thus giving the impressions of lack of interest, ignoring the questions from the other person or some other rude behavior. Oh yeah, I upset My Lovely and Talented Wife before the game due to this very thing because I was recovering from forgetting the stadium blanket, thus requiring us to turn around (about 1.5 miles from home), thus making us off schedule, thus maybe making us late to see the pregame events and traffic wasn’t helping.

Sunday was a little better for myself. Saturday’s events were as debilitating but our normal sunday routine was thrown for a loop and we didn’t get anything done in the morning that we normally do. It did back on track and I had some solace in making our Sunday Gluten Free, Casein Free Pizza. Then The Elder and I played while The Younger and My Lovely and Talented Wife took naps. Once The Younger awoke, the Kids and I went outside for a photo excursion until dinner time when the kids had Chicken and the Adults had Crab Legs. I tried to get back Sunday evening by getting the house and my other chores finished and completed for the weekend.

I had really wanted to read another Chapter in the Attwood Book, but I never made time for it. Hopefully tomorrow, I will be getting some meds to help with the extra anxiety that I feel when the schedule falls apart and I start my spiral down, because unlike NT (neurotypical) when things start to go wrong or change it’s typically a vicious cycle. The Elder has the same thing when it comes to changing tasks, we have to give him a 5 minute warning period or he’s upset for a long time, because when you attempt to change an Aspergian Schedule, it’s like a Box of Chocolates.

Never know

If you are curious about the workings of an Asperger mind when it comes to communication, Here is great post from the blog Aspergian Square 8 titled Let’s have a conversation. And I’ll have to remember this post when I go into some of my conversation coping strategies…

About planet3rry

I'm a husband, father and runner in the Knoxville area. I love the way that running makes me feel and how it has changed my thinking. I am always looking for the new PR whether in the 5k or the marathon