I want to thank those that comment about my “Not There” post and offered words of encouragement. I was thinking whether if this “funk” was a natural cycle or if there were some extraneous circumstances that were perpetuating the mood swing.What’s the planetary alignment right now? Is there anyone out there in Retrograde? Or worse, is anyone coming into Retrograde… that bastard Mercury better not be.
I was trying to think about this cycle and the timing. Typically, I have a big down swing in December that lasts from late December through Leadership Conference (mid January). If you read my archived posts during this time, it’s almost like clockwork. I have a theory on that and a post in creation called “Asperger Christmas”. That’s a post that will need a little polish and care, not some garbly-goop that I tossed together… kinda like this one!
So, I am wondering if this down cycle is that particular cycle (coming early) or that the previous cycle is delayed. I would hate to think that my cycles are becoming more frequent. Unless that means that they are going to be less intense, that would be nice. Typically in Late December and early January, I get so down, which I know pisses off My Lovely and Talented Wife and makes my In-Laws scratch their head about me and my behavior. Typically at this time, I think about giving up running, donating all my running clothes and shoes and walk away from the sport. That lasts somewhere around 3 weeks, but then I bounce off some resistance and head into the Spring running schedule.
It might be that I am a little lost, or rather a little anxious as I have two big doctor visits coming up this month. Also, I am trying to trick myself mentally about the possible marathon this weekend. Were I officially registered I’d be a lot more nervous as it would “officially” be race week, I’d officially be in “Taper Mode” (read Taper Madness), but despite all the Jedi Mind Tricks that I am using on myself, I still am anxious about the race. I can realistically make an attempt to break my current marathon PR at this race and that isn’t helping either.
I’m closing this post with a quote that I received in my inbox today, from Helen Keller, a person whose attitude toward life is something that should be admired.
“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”
- Helen Keller (1880-1968)
author, lecturer, activist
Oh Terry. What can I say? You’re not alone. These down swings pass. By all means keep recording them and work out whether they are becoming more frequent / less intense and speak to people about them. But they do pass.
As for running the race – Terry just run it. Just run it because you can, because you’re able to. You can’t PR in every race and you shouldn’t – different races have different purposes. At this point in time just go out there and enjoy your body and the crowds and the surrounding. Amazing that you’re able to do a marathon. It is! Sometimes we forget and sometimes we should remember.
Thanks Petra. I am acting starting to feel it starting to subside now… probably because I called it out by writing about it these past 2 days.
I know that I can’t PR at every race. My PR will be 6 years old THIS saturday. I’ve run 5 marathons since then. I’m no where near trained as I was for Knoxville in 2006, but that was a harder course and I feel like I have just “enough” training. So while I am grateful for being able to run in a marathon (I have run past many wheelchairs in the past 2 weeks), I know that if I do my best, I can achieve quite a bit at this race
I think I’ll look into Mercury retrograde. If memory serves me right, it should be about time for that cycle to start again…
M~
That damn Mercury! I think we should disown it like we did Pluto…
I hope your Dr. appointments go well P3! I’ll be thinking about you..
Stacie