And I forgot the next verse
Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse
The lyric sheet’s so hard to find
What are the words, oh nevermind
Don’t know, don’t know, don’t know, I don’t know!
Don’t know, don’t know, don’t know…
–Smells Like Nirvana Wierd Al Yanovik’s parody of Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit
I am staring at the keys waiting for my brain to send signals to my fingers to type the blog entry that is being passed around my neurons like a game on Hot Potato on the school playground. *sigh*
The smelling reference of this post refers to what the psychologist said about a questionnaire that I and my wife took in trying to get an official diagnosis of Asperger’s. We thought that an online counselor would be a better approach for us to get an official diagnosis of me. After all, we didn’t need a professional to diagnose me as an “insensitive jerk” we had plenty of evidence of that but sadly, the diagnosis of IJ is currently not in the DSM IV. Now if there was something else there that was making me be an a-hole then perhaps there would be a way to control or modify or make me aware of my insensitivity and jerkiness. Why? Because That’s what Schoolhouse Rock and G.I. Joe [ed. Holy Nostalgia Batman, I just had a Retro-tastic trip with the images on the Hasbro website of G.I. Joe figures that I have not seen in over 20 years, I think I just wet myself] taught us: “Knowledge is Power” and “Knowing is Half the Battle”
The online counselor approach seemed fine at first but in the end, it was not the prudent method for myself. I am sure that an online approach can help thousands, or millions of people. I mean, how many of us get free therapy just from blogging. Our questionnaire answers were not exactly the best representation of us and I think our biggest disappointment from the online counselor was that they did not ask further probing questions. WYSIWYG. I can tell you that my answers were very much the style of this blog, honest but with… eh, FLAIR!
Here’s a summary of the online experience with the online person:
We started in early September with the online person who after longs days of writing our responses to 45 question surveys (one for each of us) said that he met NONE of the criteria [for asperger’s syndrome]. SHOCK. And the start of my second-guessing EVERYTHING all over again.
And then we began writing a response on reasons why and why not we agreed with the diagnosis. Then in mid-to-late September, I looked at the DSM IV requirements and was able to provide enough evidence for a self-diagnosis. So that led to us seeing a real live person, who was referred to us from the Austim 101 class we attended. (Asperger’s is generally classified under the Autism blanket AND the Main-Man, head Guru of Asperger’s Dr. Tony Attwood refers to Aspergers in his writings as High Functioning Autism(HFA)). Thankfully, My Lovely, Talented and Persistent Wife wouldn’t let me drag my heels any longer and I found out that the person was under our insurance. YAY!
Last Week (10/3) was our second appointment with our psychology and she said that it was probably Aspergers that we were looking at. Now, I took this literally (Aspergian trait) meaning that it “probably” was and that it could be something else. Maybe it was something else and not Aspergers, or maybe it was something else and Aspergers or some other crazy combination. I dunno. If she didn’t say “Hominus Dominus, you have Asperger’s” then this “probably” and “maybe” stuff, are just hypotheses (and you’ve given me no p-value! GRRR – Statistician joke).
Okay, now to the smelly-smelly part.
We had sent our live psychologist some of the files that we sent the online person since our last visit so she could look over them. My Lovely and Talented Wife was able to see her yesterday due to a cancellation and here’s her take of how part of her meeting went:
The current psychologist begins the session with, “These reek of Aspergers.”
“Really? Because we didn’t even give you everything that we gave to the other lady.”
Now, we have to thank our friends over at Merriam-Webster’s Online for giving us a good definition of “reek”
Typically, we the word reek is generally a negative reference:
“Whew, did you smell that skunk, it reeked”
“Damn, Did you pass gas, dude? That reeks… no more Taco Bell for you!”
Main Entry: reek
1 : to emit smoke or vapor
2 a : to give off or become permeated with a strong or offensive odor <a room reeking of incense> b : to give a strong impression of some constituent quality or feature <a neighborhood that reeks of poverty>
So, I don’t want to give you the impression that Asperger’s is a negative thing. So, it’s the 2b definition that is key here. So when the live psychologist read the files and combined with what she knew from the previous session, [I’m pondering here] She thought to herself “Hmmm, does Terry have Asperger’s?” *pause* “WHOOP WHOOP DING DING”
So now we have come full circle. I referenced smelly, rambled on for a while, made my smelly point and now we are at a close. Hallelujah!