And then… the bottom fell out

Wow… do I have some good blog stuff for you all. Man, I want to do it justice, but to come up something eloquent that you can have a chuckle over over a nice glass of wine might take forever. I might have to give you the Bud Light edition. No wait, Bud Light sucks… water has more flavor. Let’s go with something like the Rolling Rock edition… nice American Pale Ale in a green bottle brought to you by the number “33”.

So, let’s get in the Way Back Machine and travel back to Friday. Ahhh, Friday. I had been beating myself over my paces on Thursday’s run and wondering why I wasn’t all that excited about them, but then I realized although the paces weren’t that exciting but they were 1) More consistent during the middle miles and 2) Spot On my current Long Run pace. So as much as I wanted to bitch and moan about them… they weren’t that bad.

I debated on whether to workout on Friday to give my legs a rest, but common sense came away victorious and ruled that since it “was a day I was breathing, it was a day to be exercising”. So, I went for the Friday Special, it’s a 2-fer. The Brick workout. 411 meters in the pool and I was out in the open oppressive hot sun wondering how soon it would be before I could run no further because the soles of my shoes would be permanently stuck to the sidewalk. Buzzards were already starting to circle over me, I think the birds provided just enough shade to keep the soles cool.

I made a in-run strategy to bail on the 2.18 mile course and settle for the 1.58 mile course as I didn’t want to kill myself since I was feeling the effects of Thursday’s run.

So Friday night was date night with My Lovely and Talented Wife and we traveled down to Maryville (pronounced: Mur-vul) to a Thai place called Lemongrass. MMMM MMMM. We had this sushi that had crunchy tuna (don’t ask… we didn’t) and it was really good. After that we enjoyed a nice date night with doing stuff from the pre-kid era such as going to Wal-mart and perusing Staples.

Funny aside: That Backpack post from yesterday was spawned from the trip to Staples (the Case-It Bag) but that email was supposed to go to my gmail account, but instead was sent to my secret email account that sends the message to the blog. Imagine my surprise when I see comment for the Message “BackPacks”… I never wrote any blog post called Backpacks… oh…

Saturday was not very eventful. Well, except that The Younger lost The Elder’s glasses… *sigh* that’s a couple hundred dollar right there. My Eye insurance SUCKS and we have to get the Flexon glasses that is made from some NASA material they probably use on the Space Shuttle. No, not the foam… a metal. Seriously, this stuff can withstand the abuse of a 2yo and 4yo, so anything Space Use related is nothing compared to the destructive power of The Elder and The Younger. But Flexon = $$$.

Now, you can ask The Younger, “where are brother’s glasses” and he’ll say “mommy’s room” but they are no where to be seen or found.

Sunday had an excitement of it’s own… Birthday Pictures! There are two types of photographers… ones that can work with people and the other that work with still life. I would classify Models as still life mainly because they are posing and although may have some high-faluted opinion of themselves, if they don’t get the picture they don’t get work, if they don’t get work they can’t eat and if they can’t eat they’ll waste away… wait, if they can’t get paid they can’t buy vodka and cigarettes. They are typically not working with crazy kids who don’t want to sit still or stay in the room for two seconds or adults trying to get their kids to sit still for one second at the least. Our photographer would be the latter, the still life type. She even had that “I’m an artsy type of photographer” look to her with her dyed red hair and black velvet Goth wannabe pants. No, there is nothing wrong with that at all, but you might want to evaluate working in a national chain photography store. Or get some kids of your own, then you’ll “know”.

Now as a stranger to kids, your first impression can either give you supreme authoritarian power (i.e. Darth Vader) or lay down the “walk all over me” mat. Guess which card she played. Right…

So, as we are in the middle of struggling to get poses taken where it looks like we are not anchoring our kids to our laps, the camera… a Fuji FinePix (don’t know the model) decides that it’s not going to work. Well, it’s not going to focus on auto-focus. I was so close to saying, “can’t you drive stick?” Not referencing her automotive persuasion but her ability to twist the round knobby thing that pokes out like a big honkin’ nose off the face of the camera… most people call it a “lens”. But alas, the camera gods smiled and all was well with the camera. Except the kids, now having a nice break have gone from almost being in a picture taking mood to NOT being in a picture taking mood.

A couple of forced poses and we finally have a bunch of pictures to choose from… YAY! Well, we would except that the proprietary software the company uses has locked the one free computer. This requires a call to company tech support. *sigh* more waiting. and waiting… and finally, we see the pictures. This should be the quick part, just say “no” to all, tell her she sucks at her job, leave a stinky diaper in the play area, spill our contraband iced tea and say “I would rather poke sharp sticks in my eye than have pictures taken here!!!” (which is the Wife’s and I fave saying next to “I’d rather eat shards of glass than eat here!”) .

Of course this place is the best place in the area to get pictures taken than the super high priced photographers (I wanna be one) where you take a picture of the first born and leave the kid there as a down payment on the amount due. I mean, there is JC Penney’s and Sears but those places are “I would rather poke sharp sticks in my eye and set myself on fire than have pictures taken here.”

But you know what… Goth Girl deliver some goods. She was able to get enough good pictures of the poses to make the session worthwhile. She actually got a great up close picture of The Younger, which turned out great. So, all was not lost. But note to self, ask for Michael next time.

So… that’s the skinny through Sunday… but there is more to come… such as “The bottom sinks lower” or “Thar be a hook in yer foot” or “Did some order a Birthday Monsoon?” or “Two more mouths to feed?” or “Hey, when did it hot in here?”

About planet3rry

I'm a husband, father and runner in the Knoxville area. I love the way that running makes me feel and how it has changed my thinking. I am always looking for the new PR whether in the 5k or the marathon