Retro

From She Who Shall Not Be Linked :

For those not familiar with Mercury retrograde, it is an astrological aspect that occurs every 12 weeks for a three-and-a-half week period. In effect, when any planet retrogrades, it settles down for a nap. Mercury rules information, communication, commerce, transportation, shipping, and all moving parts in machines, which is why things tend to go bonkers when Mercury is out of phase. People are not thinking clearly, conditions are greatly in flux, and later we have to backtrack to correct errors in judgment we made while Mercury was retrograde.

First let me say that I don’t really subscribe to the astrology or occult phenomenon, but I am open to the idea that there could be something to it or part of it could partially explain event in our physical world. It could be just part of the brain that we don’t know about doing its job, or it could a force of our universe (or one from another universe). Just as Eclipses used to be some apocalyptic event, this too may one day be explained.

Anyway, back to the blog… the one thing that stood out to me was the “moving parts of machines” now the story doesn’t involve the moving parts but rather the people who use them but it does seem to fit with the whole Mercury Retrograde thingie because, well, it all happened at once.

If you have ever been a dishwasher with an industrial washer, the cardinal sin is to put dishwashing liquid into the dishwasher. The result is a scene in a “B” teen comedy movie where the suds takes over the whole restaurant. Now, the mutant bubbles that are created don’t actually take anything over, but they do start POURING out of the machine and there is little that you can do. Like Uncle Eddy said about his dog Snot in Christmas Vacation “If he gets a hold of your leg, it’s better to just let him finish his business. If you know what I mean.”

In a household dishwasher, the result, is not so bad.Your dishes will not get clean and you might have some extra bubbles. It might also take you a few empty cycles to process the soap out.

Wednesday, our dishwasher was in this state, post dishwashing liquid mode. It looked as if the water was okay and so I decided to run the dishwasher since it didn’t look all that bad. Also, I decided to make a batch of Gluten Free bread mix, which the mix deserves a big RAVE post, and I will talk about the bread mix when it comes time. Both pieces of equipment are in the kitchen running like a charm and it’s now tubtime for the kids.

The easiest way to get my kids to do something is to use Jedi mindtricks on them so that you can get them to do your bidding what you ask. Tubtime is generally one of those times where this technique is very effective.

“The Elder, The Younger, tubtime!”

The Elder looks at his father and says, “I don’t want to tubtime, let’s play Clue.” The Younger, who will be the kid in the future to jump off a bridge because his friends jump, says in agreement, “No, No”

And here is where the Jedi training pays off.

“No tubtime? Really? Do you want bubbles or a shower?”

“Bubbles!”

“Bubbles, memetoo, memetoo”

MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. So the kids are in the shower, the water is running and the bubble acting is… uh, bubbleating. When The Elder comes in and says,

“Water and bubbles,” Which is rather odd because he’s not referencing the bathroom.

“Water and Bubbles in the tub, right?” I Ask.

“No.”

“Water and Bubbles in the kitchen?” I Ask.

“Yeah.”

“Oh man!!” I exclaim as I burn around the corner into the hallway towards what I imagine as a pool in the kitchen. Sure enough there were bubbles and water on the floor. The dishwasher was definitely in a ‘suds and regurgitate’ mode. The floor was soaked and the carpet had absorbed some of the water. Now while I was running to the flood, the water in the bathtub was running because it was tubtime. My Lovely and Talented Wife came out wondering what all the fuss was about and I went into hysterics about the suds and the tub and The Younger in the bathroom. With a calm and even keeled head, she proceeded to take The Elder and get tubtime started.

There was a ton of bubbles in this dishwasher. Now that I think about, my ever so helpful environmentally friendly dishwashing liquid doesn’t have any harsh waster softener chemicals, so when it suds, it SUDS. Which is probably why this particular time a little bit of liquid when a long long way. The previous time was with a different, less concentrate liquid.

I had to take all the dishes out and started using a plastic tray to scoop the bubble out of the dishwasher. I took a break for Book Reading and putting the kids down. *** Fast Forward to later in the evening when the kids are asleep. I am scooping bubbles and draining water so that I can run the dishwasher, empty, with as little soap as possible.

So I am scooping bubbles, when all of a sudden I see smoke coming streaming out of the bread maker, … something is burning and something is wrong. As I unplug and take the bread machine outside, because I don’t want the smoke detector to turn on, the kids come out of their room, The Younger is crying and The Elder smiling and walking beside him. The Burning Bread is out on the porch while My Lovely and Talented Wife tends to The younger who “fell” and scrape his arm and scratched his face. After the kids had been fixed, I tend to the bread.

This baking of bread was an experiment which proved to be successful. Successful in disproving my theory, but with a veritable observation and conclusion. You can’t bake a 2lb. Loaf in a 1.5lb Bread Machine.

Here’s the hypothesis. The Bread Mix comes in a box that makes a 2lb. loaf. Previous bread making activities have luded splitting by weight the flour and yeast to bake the 1lb. version which is tedious and inaccurate. The resulting 1lb. loaf takes about 1/2 of the bread making vessel leading me to think, if1lb. takes up 1/2 the vessel, then 2lb. should take up all the vessel and everything will be okay and much easy. The error in my thinking is that bread dough has to rise, and I didn’t really take this into account that the bread dough had to go somewhere. The bread dough rose up over the vessel and over the side, landing directly on the heating element. So, I had this big clump of risen bread dough out on my front porch, so what do I do now? Turn on the oven.

Sure enough I grabbed a Pyrex dish, sprayed it with some canola oil. Took as much of the dough that I could salvage and put it in the dish and when the oven was ready baked it for 30 minutes. I was able to make about 1lb. loaf, the other 1lb. of dough… donated to SCIENCE! Well, when out to Nature to be composted.

After two runs of the dishwasher it was ready to be refilled with dishes and to be run with the proper cleaning fluid. I woke this morning to a dry floor and clean dishes. So, these two cases are definitely operator error, I clench my fist hold it to the western sky and say “Curse you, Mercury!”

About planet3rry

I'm a husband, father and runner in the Knoxville area. I love the way that running makes me feel and how it has changed my thinking. I am always looking for the new PR whether in the 5k or the marathon