I'm having a hard time figuring out what to call this post.
When you live in East Tennessee there is no shortage of lack of a better term, tackiness. I know that every part of the country has their share of folks provide their contribution to the world of tacky.
Anyway, here in East Tennessee you have your normal stuff: Vans painted with murals of UT football players, Orange and not just on camouflage but EVERYWHERE. You have your farm lands that sit next to subdivisions of $250,000 homes. Everyone you know has a boat because of the predominant river system where everyone fishes but NEVER eats their catch. There is always road construction, why? because we LOVE the ORANGE and white barrels. It goes on and on. And Christmas time is one time of the year that we can let our inner-tacky out. You may not be a Clark W. Griswold with your christmas lights, but your house may have more lights than last year. After all a lighted nativity set isn't complete without a “shroud” of white lights over it (significant? dunno). This is in my neighborhood. Also in my neighborhood is the string of lights that is hovering in mid-air. Actually it's one strand on a branch… how festive. YAY.
Now in our neighborhood… we do have delightfully tacky. It actually borderlines on cool rather than tacky. The homeowners are obviously fans of the Carribean, haven't met them… so can tell for sure. But the first thing that you see is a lighted palm tree. No, not a real palm tree with lights but a light structure shaped in a palm tree with appropriate colors in all the appropriate places. What is impressive is not that you would say “oh, that's a palm tree” what you say “oh, that's a BIG palm tree”. It stand 6-8 feet tall.
But for the piece de resistance… have you ever seen a Christmas Dolphin? Me neither until the Christmas we moved into our current house. Sure enough, it is a dolphin with a Santa hat on with all the colors that would suggest “look it's the Christmas Dolphin”. Hell, it could be a porpoise for all I know… I haven't stopped to ask. So what's so special about the “Christmas Dolphin”? It moves! Yes, in grand fashion, this animated Christmas decoration details the livelihood of said dolphin jumping out of and back into the water. There are 4 or 5 actual units that make up the dolphin and are rigged so that it looks as if the dolphin is actually. It must be 20 feet wide or something… it's BIG and it's attached to their house or deck. In fact, it's so cool that it is the highlight of the neighborhood and if we were driving around with you, we would take you on a path which would unveil the dolphin in all of its glory. Did I mention that this house is at the top of the highest part in our subdivision and you could probably see the dolphin from a great distance?
But my original post wasn't about the significance of a Christmas mammal that swims which I just puked up onto the screen. It's actually about something I saw coming into work today. Something that is the reason why I carry a camera with me at all time. I am hoping that I can catch the owner to ask them a few questions… I am intrigued. This year is the attack on Christmas. You can't say Merry Christmas without hurting someone. You know, if someone said Happy Chanukah or Happy Holidays or Jolly Kwanzaa etc… I know that they would be wishing me well this time of year.
So I found someone who is making a stand of sorts and it is clear on which side of the Christmas debate they back. Because when you go to this trouble, you have to Believe… a beacon of Christmas spirit in this day of political correctness. This is what I found at work today… Behold:
and those ARE Christmas light holding him down.